SPM Result
Let me introduce myself. I'm a type of a lazy student actually. Not 100 percent lazy. It's like 50 percent lazy and the other half I'm hardworking. For sure, I'm not a top student at school and I always get not so bad result for every examination. We can be said it like '' cukup makan '' like that, Hahaha. And I'm very good in the elective subject and poor in the science subject. For sure, I really hate it so much. And always doing something crazy like that year I added one elective subject that is Art Subject, so that's mean that I had 10 subject to study! My God, it looks like crazy. The science subject already killer, why suddenly I added new subject even that subject, not available for the science student to take it but I take it. See, how self-surrender I am! I take it 'cause I love art so much and seriously I want to say that I never read the book every examination, especially for Art subject. We can say that subject just a piece of cake only! Easy to get A's. I'm also struggling like hell to do the art portfolio and to carve. How I did it last minute and how lazy I am to finish it all. That year too, I spend all my leisure time just finish my portfolio and studying and studying. A boring life I had last year but it's pay off. Thank God. Hahaha.
The memories still played in my mind. How I forget to eat and my mom always sends her cook to my room. How I cancel all the enjoy life just because I want to focus on my studies. How I spend too much money on books. How the books scattered in my room- on the bed, floor, under the bed. How I manage my time properly. How I manage my life well. How last minute I am. Too many things I had last year and how I miss my old me. Huhu.
Back to the topic, after 3 months like unemployed, the hell scary month approached. How everyone not so happy to take away the SPM result. How lazy I am to take the result. actually. I'm not going to school with my parents and went with my friends. She took me at home and drive to school and also picks up my best friends. We really nervous and my heart beats so fast like horse racing. Fuhh. But, I'm trying to cool down. Okayy. I can feel it right now. Hahaha.
We reached there around 9 o'clock. Actually, I wanted to go at 11 o'clock but my friends wanna met the teachers before took away the result. And because I went with her, so I need to get there earlier. Along the journey, everyone in their own world. Thinking their result I thought, but I'm not. Hahaha. so, we're hanging out at the open hall before we get into the hall. There's we enjoy ourself while selfie. And one of my friends checks their result online. Fuhh, how dare she is. Hahaha. Nah, before I forgot after we parked our car near the hall, we walked to go to the car parking near the mosque to meet our friends, but then my younger brother came towards me and said that he knows my result because he already looked my result. Actually, his class there to help the teachers prepared for the events. You know it felt like, "what the fish this boy. why you look my result!??!! " I'm trying to be cool and just act nothing.
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| With my best friends, Anis Syaz |
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| The girls. |
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| Auchhh. Hahaha. |
The 1999's students started crowded near the hall and some of them already in the hall, except me and my friends which hung up like crazy and selfie at the open hall near the field. Enjoy too much even that day something scared day already approached. Around 10, the events started. So, all the students, teachers, and parents gathered in the hall. The principles gave a speech and I can't even hear what she said 'cause I'm playing phone and I sat at the back while my friends and my best friends sat in front. But, nevermind because there's no empty sit in front for me to sit. So, I recite du'as to make my heart calm to accept all the reality I'm going through a few minute later and to stop my overthinking and my high expectation on my result I will get soon. You know, I want to cry that time. I felt that I don; 't want to face this kind of reality. How I think what if I can't get the best result? What if I can't make my parents happy with my result? What if I can't be the best? What if??!? Too much wild thought and unknown mix feelings.
I keep playing phone and not-so-heard too much what principle said and so on. And she mentioned that around 12 students get the best students. Nahh, of course, I'm no one of them. Top student? Not easy to get unless you're the best to get it. I know my limit and I know my strength. Suddenly, the principal called my name, and I was like, " Hah? isn't my name? " and I do not give any response and she called again and okay that was me so I wake up from my sat. A big clap and I can see my friends in front me be like, '' What?!?? My God Aty! Congrats! " And you know my hand started cold and I was speechless. I get it? The things that I'm not expected? The things that I'm just dreaming and that dreams became reality! Am I? Am I in the reality right now? Wait.. it's reality, not fantasies! So, you know how awkward I am to get the result on the stage meanwhile that time I felt to run away and my walker to get on the stage not right. No right smile. Not so good handshake. Nervous to get on the stage actually. Hahaha. Fuhhh. I went through it well even that time I felt I want to die already. Hahaha.
It feels like I already achieve it well. But, my best friend does not get the best students and you know she came to me and crying. I felt sad 'cause at least we both get the best result together. Her result very good and better than mine. Maybe she sad 'cause not get the best result and what she expected. Let me tell you, if you're reading this, you might think that you going to lose your friends because not get a better result. Honey, neither best or not, you are my happy-ending best friend. No matter what happens you're my love. I'm never compared to you. I'm not a type of person that easily leaving someone for no reason. How can I leave you just because of the result? Only stupid did that. But, I'm not. Even you're trying to get away from me, I came close to you. I will not change. I'm still a person you know with kind of lame joke, always caring, happy-go-lucky girl, crazy person and so on. Result just a script. Just a piece of script. Our journey still long dear. Out there, there's a lot of challenges we need to face. Don't give up on your dreams and goals. Go achieve it. Step-by-step. And remember God knows what's best for you. He knows you can. No matter what happens, I'm always here for you. And I hope you'll never forget our friendship. Wish that our friendship everlasting till Jannah, Ameen. May dreams and goals become true. Because you know your strength! Don't give up! Don’t worry about your exams results. I know that you will get very good marks. Trust yourself! The more you believed in yourself, the more you could trust yourself. The more you trust yourself, the less you compare yourself to others.
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| I always love you, dear. |
Calm down and don’t give up! You will be in the highest positions. I know you will. Don’t be afraid if something will not be good enough as you thought. All mistakes are practice. Don’t let others tell you what you can’t do. Don't let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible. If you can’t believe in miracles, then believe in yourself. When you want something bad enough, let that drive push you to make it happen. Sometimes you’ll run into brick walls that are put there to test you. Find a way around them and stay focused on your dream. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Distance yourself from negative people who try to lower your motivation and decrease your ambition. Create space for positive people to come into your life. Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.
Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
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