RELAPSED.

Do whatever your heart leads you to do,

get laid and leave your brothers behind you.

you can escape your worries and for awhile, be free.

but you won’t be able to escape feeling empty.

take a deep breath, and let it go.

not just your breath, but all the things you hid because of your ego.

and then, be you, be cruel.

while ignoring everyone’s ever dying love for you.

Dearest friend, there are things i left unsaid.

that sounds selfish, but my feelings too arent man-made.

no way to control, no way to stop.

this is me saying i give up.

I dont’t know friend, i really dont.

why do i feel so hurt when i really shouldnt?

what happened to me friend, what happened?

im starting to regret knowing you and now, i feel helpless.

I’m making this about me, im deeply sorry.

perhaps this is just an excuse for me to let go and finally be free,

another excuse for me not to care,

because as of now, alone, i can’t bear.

Friend, forgive me.

but i really hope you’ll be torn apart with me leaving.

i really hope your heart’s gonna ache,

and feel the sadness of another’s heartbreak.

Friend, im agonising.

your holy thoughts didnt heal instead it’s ruining.

i’m sorry i said i’ve forgotten and forgave,

when in reality, im still struggling in every way.

i’m not God, friend. i am not.

the sanctity of your intentions is something im unaware of.

this is the last, friend. this is it.

i pray to god everyday that our memories would be thrown down the pit.

farewell friend, for this is goodbye.

a goodbye that’s difficult but for my sake, i have to try.

love,

atysharieff.