A deep conservation.


"Hello?"

"I'm scared."

"What's going on? Where are you right–"

"God, I'm so fucking scared of losing myself, I'm so scared."

"Where are you?"

"Where the hell would I be? In my room."

"I'm coming over, just don't hang up. I beg you, just talk to me, baby." °°°

"Why is everything getting bad again?"

"Because the world is a fucking mess..."

"Don't lie to me. I know you too well to know that you're hiding what you wanted to but didn't say. That I'm not a little child anymore to grieve about how unfair this almost comic place is and that I should snap out of it. And you know what? I don't fucking care, I don't care what you or the guy at the 7-Eleven store think. I hate this world for everything it gives to me and the others."

"Baby, breathe."

"You know what? I think you're afraid too, you're scared that one, little bit more harsh word addressed towards me will make me want to slit my throat and then you'll lose me. I'm lost. I want myself back, I want myself back so much. Why do we have a society like that? Why do bad people exist? Tell me please, tell me why do they hurt innocents until they don't believe in honesty and love? I'm so tired of myself, I want to be weak so someone could wrap his arms around me and tell me everything's going to be alright, I want to be addicted to someone, I'm so fucking tired of 'It's your problem, not mine.' I don't want to deal with everything by myself anymore."

"Baby, I don't have any answers, I wish I had. Sometimes it's strangling me just like it does with you right now. But I'm definitely certain about one thing; your worth can't be defined by the way others look at you. Your worth can't be defined at all. You're the lines of your favourite book, the little constellations you draw on your palms, the lyrics you write down in your notebook, the colours of your room and the way you say 'Hello' . And you're unique but at the same time, there are hundreds and thousands of people in this world think alike with you. That's the biggest magic, you're not alone. And they love you, I love you. You're not alone now, you'll never be. 

I love you. 
Now open the goddamn door so I could repeat this face to face to you."

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